Add it to the list of things I blame the Catholic Church for. I first discovered it at Mass. Cheap white zinfandel. From First Communion on I couldn't take a big enough gulp. My parents would let us sip their martinis if we asked, knowing we'd gag and ask for Kool-Aid. But their favorite concoction was Budweiser with Clamato juice. I know. There's a reason I didn't discover beer until 6 months ago.
I started drinking at age 15 when my parents began their 7 Years' Divorce. Started drinking everyday when I moved to New York City at age 17. Cheap vodka with orange juice made from concentrate. Ew. And ow.
When I turned 18 I started stripping. At first my goal was to get as drunk as possible as quickly as possible to drown my homesickness and loneliness and mask the Catholic guilt I had over what I was doing and to shed my inhibitions so I could ask men if I could get naked for them for $20. Fun fact: Leonardo DiCaprio turned me down. This was before Titanic. Pretty sure he was 20. And I didn't have tits then.
I was ordering Long Island Iced Teas (Vodka, Gin, Rum, Tequila, Triple Sec, Sour Mix, Cola, Lemon Garnish) and some horrible concoctions called Purple Motherfuckers (Vodka, Southern Comfort, Amaretto, Razzmatazz, Sour Mix, 7up). Thankfully one night sitting at the bar a gentlemen introduced me to Bombay Sapphire and tonic and a love affair began. Not with him. Never saw that asshole again. But the gin stuck around.
At 20 I got my first national tour. My roommate on the road loved red wine and gourmet cooking and introduced me to both. Dark reds. Cabernets mostly. My next national tour was all about scotch. Single malts. Every night after the show we'd all meet at the hotel bar and get shnockered. My liver is still sulking.
Next gig was my first Broadway show. Out of nowhere I had a thirst for chardonnay. After the show I'd rush home to my Hell's Kitchen studio, stopping by the delightful Ninth Avenue Vintner for a bottle of Toasted Head...or was it Stoned Fellatio? Either way, loved that wine. Oaky, buttery...my only 2 descriptors I knew at the time. I'd gulp down 2 glasses, pour a third and rarely drink it. Oh how I miss that tolerance level/those days.
A lot happened between then and now, but the chardonnay was always a constant companion. Until recently. I've spent the last 2 years in Oregon. Everything has seduced me...the trees, the rivers, the cleanest air I've ever breathed, the nicest people, the organic everything, the legal weed, the pinot noir and now I hear Portland's the beer capital of the US. Plus I'm seeing a lot of local spirits on liquor store shelves. Yeah...I don't see my hedonist ass leaving anytime soon.
A few months ago I was in Estonia visiting my brother and as we were walking to the ferry boats to meet my then boyfriend, now husband, Toby ducked into a store for cigarettes and beverages. He handed me a little wine bottle and whipped out his beer. Apparently drinking on the street is legal in Europe. I smelled something I hadn't in a beer before, but having just spent a few days in London getting hammered on Bombay Sapphire I knew exactly what is was. Juniper! Since when did they start putting this in beer? I took a swig and immediately regretted my choice of sauvignon blanc, though it was Chilean and quite good. He also introduced me to Belgian ale. I drank a lot of it on that vacation, but now I realize it's made with sugar, in the same way Champagne is. Sneaky Belgian bastards.
On that note, I believe there is no good or bad wine, beer or spirit, there is only my preference. I learned that while seeking treatment for narcissistic personality disorder. Let me catch you up on my latest research.
I'm going through an IPA phase and I want my IPA to be like an aging Broadway chorus girl...hoppy, aromatic and bitter as fuck. This is my current favorite:
Hopworks IPA 6.6% ABV 75 IBU $10-$12 per 4 pack
I first discovered this beer at an Oregon Chipotle. It came in a can so I didn't order it for awhile, but when I did, it was love at first sip. Complex aroma, gorgeous hoppy taste, cloudy and ORGANIC!!! It was so good I made a pilgrimage to its Brewery/Restaurant in Portland. I've eaten there twice, totally organic menu, had an incredible burger (back when I ate meat), the best fries, wonderful service. Next time I'm there I'll be doing the 15 beer tasting (only $12!) and taking the tour. www.hopworksbeer.com
Speaking of tours and tastings, my Bipolar Disorder For Dummies book says humans need structure, routine, ceremony and celebration. Tours and tastings are a wonderful way to have a date for very little money. Anywhere from FREE (Chateau St. Michelle in Woodinville, WA...and they taste you through 3 wines!) to $5 (Redhook Brewery in Woodinville...they tasted us through so many beers I lost count...I think it was 5...my husband doesn't drink so I was drinking for 2...and we got 2 free glasses).
Today is New Year's Eve, a holiday associated with Champagne. I had lots of Dom Perignon, Cristal & Krug during my stripper years. But for my taste and wallet, Veuve Clicquot is my favorite. Crisp and dry, made from 100% chardonnay grapes. Moet is sweeter, not my preference. The incredible alcohol people at Costco (we have to find these people) have contracted a very pleasant dry Champagne to be their Kirkland Signature Champagne ($19.99). I was going to buy it for tonight, but I'm not in the mood for Champagne.
Finally going to see the new Star Wars movie later. So glad we splurged on the (21+) VIP Theater. Seeing so many kids waiting in line this afternoon I almost broke out in a rash...like the time the weed guy made me hold his baby. I'll be sneaking a Hopworks IPA into the theater because they don't sell beer and wine, but I've been to plenty of fancy pants movie theaters that have a full bar and menu and no teenagers allowed. Those make for an awesome date night. Now if they only gave us an intermission so we don't miss crucial plot points when we inevitably have to pee after consuming all that beer.
When I get home tonight to watch all of the terrorist targets and their fireworks displays, I'll be enjoying my favorite rosé...Gerard Bertrand Cote des Roses ($12-$16). From the Languedoc region of Southern France, made from the varietals grenache, cinsault and syrah, it's the color of baby aspirin and comes in the most beautiful bottle I've ever seen. www.gerard-bertrand.com/en/cote-des-roses-rose/ Guys if you want to score big with a woman bring her a bottle of this with some matching roses. I'm not saying you'll get a blow job, but I'm not saying you won't either.
I'll have to post later on tasting the rosé. I haven't had it in awhile so I have no descriptors. Or short term memory. But through a cloud of marijuana smoke I remember it being quite good. To be continued...
Happy New Year!
