Hey drinking buddies!

This week I'd like to give a shout out to the Oakshire Brewing Company in Eugene, Oregon.

oakbrew.com

Tours are on the first and third Saturdays of the month.  $10 gets you the tour, a souvenir glass, a pint or flight to start, and a pint or flight to finish.  EAT FIRST.  They don't serve food.

We arrived a few minutes early and took a seat at a table.  A youngish guy came up to me, looked at me intensely, and said slowly,  "Are you Pamela?"

The color drained from my face and my stomach cramped.  Entertainers usually like to be recognized.  Not cam models.  It's bad enough to know they've probably screenshot your lopsided labia or have seen you wildly humping a pillow with a glass toy up your ass.  Now you're worried they're going to ask if they can motorboat you or at the very least ask you to take a selfie with their penis.  I gulped and nodded.

"I'm the tour guide.  Here are your drink tickets.  You can start with a pint or a flight at the bar.  And you'll have another after the tour."

He walked over to the next couple.  My husband started laughing.  "Your face..."

"Yeah."  Big exhale.  "I'll be needing that pint now."

We got our souvenir glasses and headed to the bar.  I asked the sexy bartender who seemed to dislike me before I sat down about the IPA selection.  She said there were four, plus a red one.  "I'll take whichever has the highest IBU (remember...bitter as fuck)."  She asked my husband (with a smile) what he would like (bitch).  He went for their fresh brewed root beer (breweries almost always have fresh brewed ginger or root beer).  It was delicious.

People often don't know what to make of our age difference (11 years).  I've come out of many a ladies room to find some 20 something bartender draped all over him (an English accent in a small American farm town WILL get you laid).  To be fair, men have hit on me right in front of him (wore a Manchester United jersey in an English pub once...never been hit on more in my life).  At Oakshire, there was a guy sitting next to us who was drinking the same IPA I was.  He started to engage me in conversation, ignoring my husband in the middle.  I squeezed my husband's thigh and kissed him on the cheek.  Message received.

Does it bother me that my husband doesn't drink?  Hell no!  I married a designated driver.  Does it bother him that I drink?  Let me put it this way.  He forbids me to do another Dryuary.  Three sips of wine and I'm cooking his dinner and fondling his balls.

The tour guide rounded us up and herded us outside.  There was a yellow short (are we still allowed to say that?) school bus parked outside.  My hubby was very excited (they don't have yellow school buses in England).  I didn't have the heart to tell him about short buses, but there was no need. The minute we got on, the jokes began.  Oh well.  We're all going to hell.

BUT FIRST...we're going on a brewery tour.

They have a big brewery a few blocks from their bar.  After a few of these I'm finally starting to learn how to make beer!  He had us do a tasting of the ??? stage (don't remember...no short term memory).  It was very sweet.  Tasted like cereal milk after Cheerios.  Oakshire and many others are now aging certain beers in used wine barrels.  Not my preference.  I want my beer to taste like beer, my wine to taste like wine and nary the twain shall meet.  But they taste good.  Certainly worth trying.

After the tour they brought us back to the bar.  I was drinking for 2 so I tasted 10 beers.  No I didn't drink them all.  Only the IPAs.  But I did taste everything.  Enough to know they make fantastic beer.

I fell in love with their Drop Bear IPA.  7.3% ABV / 91 IBU  It's made with Australian hops (it is SO amazing how much hops looks like weed).  Tried to pick up a 4 pack from there today, but of course, it's seasonal.  Winter only.  Poo.

Their year round beers are Watershed IPA, Oakshire Amber Ale and Overcast Espresso Stout.  They have too many seasonals to count/taste.  Whatever your preference, I'm guessing they brew it.

There was a group of Hank Schrader clones outside on the patio, learning how to improve their home brewing skills, kind of like a yoga intensive, but for brewers.

I’ll be keeping my fridge stocked with my favorite beers from now on.  Fun fact: red wine and sports don’t mix…except in Seattle.  Went to a U.W. Huskies football game.  The parking lot was full of tail gate parties serving smoked salmon and Chateau St. Michelle wine.  Niles and Frasier would've been pleased.  I tried having a cabernet while watching a Man Utd game this week.  Never again.

It’s hard for my brain to slow down sometimes. (Really?)  Having a beer allows me to slow down, sit down, truly enjoy a game, and drunk tweet.

I’ll be getting back into the Mariners this season.  Loved them in high school.  Back then we had Alex Rodriguez, Ken Griffey Jr. and Randy Johnson!!!  I followed the Mets when I lived in NYC.  Bobby Valentine was manager, the starting lineup was Ricky Henderson, John Olerud, Mike Piazza and the dreamy Robin Ventura.

I love baseball.  It’s like math and ballet rolled into one giant metaphor for life.  I think the most beautiful sound in the world is the crack of the ball against the bat for a home run.

Except for maybe Ryan Giggs putting his balls in the back of my net…

Bottoms up!