Another drinking holiday, like New Year's Eve, that is often referred to as Amateur Night by us hardened drinkers. I wish I could say I was making a corned beef and cabbage and drinking a Guinness, but I quit eating beef and I'm not a fan of stouts. Plus, cabbage makes me fart. Sorry.
I'd be having a Jameson on the rocks, but I prefer single malt Scotch whiskeys to Irish ones. Fun fact: the porn star Jenna Jameson took her stage name from the whiskey. I actually really enjoyed her autobiography, "How To Make Love Like A Porn Star." They sure don't make them like her anymore...
Originally observed as a religious holiday, held on the anniversary of the death of Saint Patrick, the foremost patron Saint of Ireland, it is now mostly associated with drunkenness and bigoted parades.
My husband is half Irish. I'm nervous to meet my in-laws. My husband still stands by his thinking I'm NOT an alcoholic because of these people. They live on Baileys, Murphy's, Boddingtons and Bulmers, though one uncle only drinks Jack Daniels. Go figure.
I have Irish roots on my mom's side. Never done that ancestry.com DNA test, but with (formerly) natural red hair and family names like Campbell and Highly (which I should've taken as a stage name...how do I do anything? Highly. Sometimes drunkenly. But always highly), I'm gonna bet on green.
It's funny, the last time I attempted AA, the women's group meetings I attended were like redhead, redhead, redhead...seriously what the fuck is with the Irish?
My mom's family is hardcore Catholic. When the priest sex abuse scandal broke, her response was, 'Well, what I want to know is...who's going to hold these children accountable for their sinning?' Yes. Really.
I SO would've loved to make her watch Spotlight, but knowing her, she'd have me rooting for the pedophile priests by movie's end (and feeling REALLY guilty about masturbation. Oh irony).
But hey...how great is it to have Michael Keaton back??? How many of us have said in the past year...'WOW. I forgot what an amazing fucking actor Michael Keaton is." ??? BEST. BATMAN. EVER.
One St. Patrick's Day I will never forget was my final call back for my first Broadway show. I was on tour with some disastrous musical and we were playing New Haven, Connecticut. I woke up at the crack of ass to take the 2 hour Amtrak train ride to Grand Central Station. When I got there the cab stand was packed with nary a cab in sight, so I had no choice but to walk 3 cross town blocks while dragging a large suitcase. As I turned to walk north on Madison Avenue a 20something guy stumbled out of a pub door and threw up all over the sidewalk in front on me. It was 9am. Amateur.
Disgusting as it was, it must've been lucky. Like when a bird shits on you.
Because I got the job.
Coincidentally, I was wearing all green.
Enjoy your hangovers amateurs!
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