The work weekend was hilarious. One of my fans almost had a meltdown seeing me not drinking. I finally put my lemon water in a wine glass to make him feel better (it worked). One fan who takes me for long privates came in and asked if I was drunk yet. I informed him of my Dryuary choice. He said "Hmmm...I'll come back in February" and left. In fact, 2 fans said and did that. I had to laugh (a relieved laugh) and shake my head. Why relieved? Because the lesson learned is AWESOME. Do what makes ME happy. If I want to drink once a week on date night with my husband or drink during my shows or drink everyday or not drink at all, it's nobody's business but mine, my husband's, my corgi's, my doctor's, my nurse practitioner's, my therapist's, my yoga instructor's and my hair stylist's (cheekbones). Everyone who drunk shamed me can go suck a dick...OR...they can get on a scale, take a picture of that number, tweet it, along with their naked picture from neck to navel, then get me a copy of their labs because I am DYING to see their cholesterol and glucose levels. Then they need to give up red meat, dairy and sugar forever. It's the ONLY hope for them. Fuckwads.
I'm not a fan of Christianity, but I do agree with 'Take the plank out of your own eye before you worry about the speck in mine, man boobs.' - Matthew 7 : 5
My husband who doesn't drink NEVER drunk shamed me. Not once. Even after horrific fights brought on by booze. He was only loving and supportive, offering to get me whatever I needed, going without so I could have. He's as surprised as I am by this Dryuary thing. He's never seen me go this long without alcohol in the 2 years he's known me. 4 days was the most. His abundance of support and lack of judgement were genius. If you make something forbidden, you'll want it all the more. If you have it shoved up your butt, you're happy to have a break. I'm not saying he gave me a chardonnay enema, but considering what we have done, it's not too far fetched.
I admit that's very risky with alcohol (having as much as you want whenever you want...not using it as an enema...that's just fucking retarded). It's kind of like putting an airplane into a steep dive to put out an engine fire, hoping you'll be able to pull up in time. Not sure I would recommend it to all who are alcohol addicted, but it seems to have worked for me.
Witchcraft teaches us whatever we put out into the universe comes back to us threefold. If I'm constantly being drunk shamed, it's my karma for being a judgmental, narcissistic bitch most of my adult life. In my defense, I was raised by 2 judgmental, narcissistic assholes, so I have a lot to overcome.
I suppose this is the part where I should say we need to stop judging each other and start loving each other and ask you all to open your YouTube hymnals and join me in a chorus of 'Kumbaya'.
But I won't. There is no 'we need to'... I can only speak for me. I began exploring Buddhism BECAUSE I'm such a narcissist. I'd finally learned to love myself and decided I deserved a better life. And the only way to make it happen was to change my karma. Not only in creating good, but going out of my way to not create bad. Learning to have compassion for myself was a profound awakening. Now if I could just get my head out of my ass long enough to have it for others...
So in keeping with that, from this day forward I vow to focus only on my own shit. I won't spend one ounce of energy judging or criticizing anyone else or their choices. I will never give advice unless asked. I will never use the phrases 'You need to...' or 'You should...'
And I can't WAIT to have an I.P.A.
Namaste
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